Upcoming book from Cris Cohen

Movie Trailers

I have this fear that one day the trailers will come on before a movie I rented and the disclaimer at the beginning will say “This preview is not appropriate for anyone.”

Beards

Lately it has been popular for professional athletes to grow beards. Either that or they have stapled small, dead animals to their faces. It is difficult to say. With some players, it looks like their own hair. With other players, it looks like they had a head-on collision with a badger.

Toothpaste

The box for a toothpaste we just bought says on it, “If you accidentally swallow more than used for brushing, seek professional assistance or contact a Poison Control Center immediately.” Apparently if the quantity is a little off, it changes from a teeth cleaner to a kind of cyanide. I wonder if their other products have similar warnings. “If you spill a cup of mouthwash, clean it up with a paper towel. If you spill more than a cup of mouthwash, your entire neighborhood must be evacuated.”

Spiders

This month’s column for the Cary Citizen is now live.

Baseball Presentation

Here is the presentation I made at Raleigh’s PechaKucha Night.

Football Games

People take football games very seriously. This is why even matches between small colleges are analyzed more intensely than the film of the Kennedy assassination.

If you would like a signed copy, I recommend getting someone really famous to do it. Then it might be worth something some day. However, if you cannot find someone famous, I am happy to sign them. If you live in the Raleigh area, I’m sure we will run into each other at some point

If you do not live in the Raleigh area or you live here but really don’t want to see me, please make out a check to “Tyrannosaurus Max Press” for $14 ($12 book + $2 shipping costs). Mail it to:

211 Parkmeadow Drive

Cary, NC   27519

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